There has been so much debate between moms. Stay at home moms feel by working they are missing out on the best years of their child’s life and they want to be involved in every aspect of their child’s development and growth. Working moms feel they either need to work due to financial reasons or want to work for reasons of sanity because they don’t feel they could stay at home. There are the moms that stay home, do the homeschooling and do ALL the cooking from scratch and only from organic ingredients. Then last but by no means least, you have those moms who work and bring home the “bacon” but the dads decide to stay with the kids. Whatever the situation, your situation is unique to your family and there should be no opinion on what is right or wrong. Only you as the parent know what is right for your family.
This is not a rant about working moms vs stay at home moms and who is right and who is wrong. This is a rant about my envy and my envy only. Let’s just start with the fact that I have been a working mom, have always been a working mom and come from a long line of working moms in my family. I had no choice, I had to work; unfortunately it was a matter of finances. However, that being said I also made sure I was there for every school activity and event, PTA meeting, school project, bake and book sale. I was there for every Girl Scout adventure and any time my daughter needed to be driven, picked up or if a friend needed a ride. Yes, all this was done while working full time, running a small Personal Chef business AND going to school.
I definitely live by the motto “That which doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” I feel I am a stronger person for all of this and I feel that I have been able to set an excellent example of how to be responsible. Is my daughter better off than those children who had a mom with them all day, every day? I don’t know about that. She may have needed to become a little more independent sooner than other kids. But, I can say that my daughter see’s my example of strength and that in life there are responsibilities and how to face and solve certain problems.
She never complained that I wasn’t there for her, but she enjoys when she can be alone for a while. I wonder if those kids that have stay at home moms enjoy that alone time as well.
I thought my envy was the fact that I was a working mom and really wanted to be a stay at home mom instead. So then you ask why is that your envy. “You got to spend time with your child even though you worked and she turned out to be a well-adjusted, independent young lady. So what’s the problem?”
Well, this is my problem. I follow so many blogs. Mommy blogs who teach crafts that are great for kids. Blogs about homeschooling. Blogs about kid friendly homemade lunches. Blogs about everything organic and homemade. Blogs about how to do this or that and how to be perfect at it. As I write this post, I realize that being a stay at home mom is not my envy. All these blogs have one thing in common, they are all about “being in the moment” and enjoying it. I think I’m envious that I have a problem with “being in the moment”. Is it too late for me? What happened and where did it all breakdown? How do I make sure I’m in the moment? Does this mean I’ve wasted time in my life? Hello anyone out there and do you have the answers? Now that my daughter is going to college soon, I really need to be more aware of the moment.
Wow, this is deep, really deep. I think I need to take the first step and get back to basics by washing dishes. Didn’t you ever hear that some people who like to wash dishes because they feel “in the moment”? I think that it’s a great lesson; wash dishes and feel the water and the soap. Have the satisfaction of clean dishes. GREAT…… who’s going to put them away! So much for in the moment!
Forget the dishes. I think I’ll just take my daughter and go for a spa day. Even we strong people need a mani-pedi and a massage now and then.